He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
