Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
