i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
