Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house

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(518): View more from New York

i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry

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(+10): View more from

I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays

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(917): View more from New York City

There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".

(985): View more from Louisiana

Did u have a 2nd thought

(601): View more from Mississippi

I need a new booty call.

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