we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you will always have a special place in my vag
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
my liver is dry heaving
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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