Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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