Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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