I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
