You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
