AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
