so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
