my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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