Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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