I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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