he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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