Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
