Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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