Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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