Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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