You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
