So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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