I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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