It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
