i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
