I think my vagina is haunted
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
