I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
