OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
