What a fucking waste of an outfit
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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