He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
