Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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