hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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