Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
