She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
