There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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