I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
