The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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