one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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