my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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