ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
