I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
