He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
