wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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