I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
