Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
