it wasn't lemon gatorade
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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