You really coming over, don't trick.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
