I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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