dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
