3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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