just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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