actually, I'm a sock model
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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